By: Edward J. Leach, CFP®
The Silence Between the Notes
My wife, Alyssa, and I have three beautiful daughters, Sydney, age 5, and Peyton and Avery, our 3-year-old twins. A “relaxing” escape would not be in the cards with our three girls. I often joked that this sabbatical might be more about surviving three kids under age five than it would be about “recharging.
To “survive,” we packed our schedule with a vacation to Cape May, NJ, and spent a lot of time at my parent’s home at the Jersey shore in Beach Haven West. If anyone knows Alyssa and me, the beach is our happy place!
Between swimming, trips to the beach, flying kites, playing mini golf, eating ice cream, riding bikes, going fishing, playing boardwalk games, and going on carnival rides, I don’t think there is a single summertime activity we didn’t do together as a family. We do all these things every summer, but this time it was different. I wasn’t distracted.
“The music is not in the notes but in the silence between.” – Mozart
I heard someone say this earlier in my career, and for some reason, it stuck with me, and I remembered it when thinking about my sabbatical. My sole focus was trying my best to be present for my family instead of checking my email or getting distracted thinking about work. While the kids were playing together, I just watched and listened.
I paid attention not only to the music of swimming, the beach, and mini golf but also to the moments in-between, like watching our girls experience and explore things for the first time and listening in on the silly little conversations five-year-olds and three-year-olds can have and also, being present to enjoy time with Alyssa.
From this time away, I have learned to appreciate how often I was distracted and not present. I intend to continue focusing on it after returning to the office. I challenge you to be more present daily and pay attention to the silence between the notes. I promise the reward will be worth the effort.
The Race Everyone Will Lose
We are all running a race we will eventually lose – it is a harsh reality, but I think it is the only guarantee I can make without creating a compliance issue. When I left the office that Friday for my sabbatical – our first stop was a wake for Alyssa’s Great Uncle. A humbling reminder.
One of the first books on my sabbatical reading list was How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton Christenson, a Harvard Business School Professor best known for his 1997 book The Innovator’s Dilemma.
Here is an excerpt from the book I want to share with you:
“How you allocate your resources is where the rubber meets the road. Real strategy—in companies and in our lives—is created through hundreds of everyday decisions about where we spend our resources. As you’re living your life from day to day, how do you make sure you’re heading in the right direction? Watch where your resources flow. If they’re not supporting the strategy you’ve decided upon, then you’re not implementing that strategy at all.”
If you substitute the word “resources” with “time” or “money,” – the previous paragraph can take on two very different meanings.
Substituting money, you may think that is why I hired HIGHLAND; that’s what you’re helping me achieve. You would be correct. We are helping you ensure you have enough money to accomplish your goals, have financial security, and leave a financial legacy.
However, by rereading the paragraph and substituting the word time for resources, you are faced with what could be a very uncomfortable question. Am I spending every second of every day pursuing joy and fulfillment? Or am I getting lost in the noise, distracted by the “Breaking News” of the day, and just trying to survive the ever-growing list of worries, responsibilities, and to-dos?
During my sabbatical, I focused on where I should spend my time daily and reflected on my vision of fulfillment.
I challenge you to reflect on how you spent the previous ten days of your life. Then ask yourself if you are headed in the right direction, moving backward, or going nowhere.
Thank you
I want to thank all of you, my clients, for your tremendous support during my sabbatical. Despite all the uncertainty in the world right now, every one of my meetings since I’ve been back started with you asking me how my sabbatical went. You are all incredible, and I appreciate you very much
I also want to thank the HIGHLAND team for their coverage and support during my time away. Our tagline, What We Do Matters, is not just something to say; it is how we live our lives and applies to our work with our clients and our support for the team.
For those curious, here is the rest of my sabbatical reading list:
How Will You Measure Your Life – By Clayton Christenson
The Infinite Game – By Simon Sinek
Extreme Ownership – By Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
The Dichotomy of Leadership – By Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
The Whole-Brain Child – By Daniel J. Seigel and Tina Payne Bryson
Ed Leach, CFP®, MBA, is a Partner and Wealth Advisor at HIGHLAND Financial Advisors, LLC in Wayne, NJ, and works directly with clients advising them on their financial planning and investments. Ed’s work focuses on the unique needs of business owners, helping them extract value from their businesses while creating efficiencies in their business and personal financial plans. He is also a member of NAPFA, which is dedicated to serving fee-only advisors.